Feature Article

14 Rules for Skating Pools…

..as written in the scriptures…
14 Rules for Skating Pools…
If your some kind of pansy-ass skater and can’t make anything happen for yourself and friends just stay at the 5 foot skatepark in your neighborhood, or better yet go trade your skateboard for a Razor-Scooter.

The Snowman pool You'll find it in Kabul, Afganistan
The Snowman pool You’ll find it in Kabul, Afghanistan

This here is a little credo you must pass along to all your new disciples in training. We’ve been out in the backyards again lately and our followers are letting us down by not adhering to the scriptures of pool survival or enforcing these rules for their own good. If you need a more thorough explanation of guidelines to follow you can look back into old Thrasher interviews and articles by Lord Salba.
What I have compiled below is a good list of rules you have to try to stick to in order to protect the sacred shrines of our worship. Yes our shrines have been invaded by souls with no respect and we’ve done what we could for as long as we could hold out. Until you have sacred shrines of your own you get no props from us only these brief words of advice.

1. If your some kind of pansy-ass skater and can’t make anything happen for yourself and friends just stay at the 5 foot skatepark in your neighborhood, or better yet go trade your skateboard for a Razor-Scooter. (Please leave this website too)
2. Don’t show up at someone else’s pool with anything other than your skateboard and maybe some water. If the owners or bailers of the pool are there, remember to buy them, beer, cigarettes, weed, or whatever they may crave, you might make some friends instead of having people want to beat your ass in.
3. Bring a broom.
4. Bring some buckets and some muscles. The bigger the better.
5. Bring a towel.

Too many fool are barging our beloved View pool lately which means it'll probably get shut down real soon.
Too many fool are barging our beloved View pool lately which means it’ll probably get shut down real soon.

6. Bring a dustpan. You must be ready to get dirty.
7. When cleaning out the pool, don’t whine. You’re gonna get filthy. Keep all the sludge out of any open wounds or you will get infected.
8. Don’t wear your fancy Globe Chillin Shoes, or your newest phly threads. They will be destroyed. Try your worst old pair of Vans, and your school gym clothes.

9. Don’t even think of spray painting!
10. Don’t even think of being loud and obnoxious.
11. If your smart ‘(yeah right)’ don’t tell anyone about your pool. This will only lead to its demise. Even your close friends who live out of state!!!
12. Never park your car near the pool and don’t skate to it if there are any neighbors.
13. If there are neighbors close by who may call the cops there is what’s commonly referred to “Salba’s 15 Minute Rule”. This is very handy and hasn’t failed any true pool vets in our crew. 15 minutes of hard skating and get the hell out of there.
14. Do nothing else except show RESPECT to the pool and the other riders your with.

A Self Portrait is the only way to keep more people from coming to the bowl. J.ed by J.ed
A Self Portrait is the only way to keep more people from coming to the bowl. J.ed by J.ed