State your name in alias' only:
mike"el dober"crespino

 What is your objective?
i think i would like to win the lottery,but if i  couldn't do that i'd like to stop stressing out about not having any money..

How do you dry Authentic Italian sausages the true Old World  way, no preservatives, extra lean?
i havent done any drying myself, my old man and my grandparents would make  ground patties old world style but its really bad for you,  makes your brownstar a burning ring of fire.

What's Sicily famous for? (besides sending people to the hospital)
is that some kind of sicilian joke! if you need some help,sicily is famous for its huge distribution of fine extra virgin olive oils and also its heroin refineries that have a share with the turks.

Are you a family man?
oh yeah,its my number one prioritty to provide  for my son. He's  6 and i'm 24, its really cool to be a dad but i know its not for  everybody. He comes up to me and just blows my mind. We've had to do some growing up together and he knows it. We're actually best friends, i teach him to read and skate and he shows me the ropes of the responsibillities to being a good father.

What side of the skateboard are you from?  Where are your roots?  Where is  paradise?
i grew up in eureka california,and ever since i  was 4 i rode skateboards around,early late 70's cruiser slalom surf board with almost  ureathane wheels, that was my freedom in my neighborhood just circle my block a million times a day. It  wasnt until i was twelve that i had seen any up to date magazines or anything. This was the summer of 86,when i went into 7th grade i had it all,my board, the goofy bangs, powell bones sweaty pants, people sweating me because i skated, if you skated in my town you had to get your ass kicked all the time by high school kids. It's not like that now im sure,.but man it was fun being able to piss people off  at that age.

Besides writhing in pain, what else do you like to do?
It's true, i fall hard. When im  not in the hospital e.r. i like to mess around with my guitar, paint, sometimes it's fun. Go thrift shopping i love listening to records and c.d.s, my two favorite now are the Replacements, seriously good rock n roll there. Um, chill out with the "sulla" spending saturdays with Colin eatin cereal and watching cartoons. You know, sicilian stuff.

Do you have any phobia's?
i just hope i never lose any limbs, i've been  in a few car crashes, man that shit is weird, one of the times i ripped my ear pretty good, pullin windsheild bits out of my forehead and elbows. It happens so slow motion and then it's over so fast. i think you have instant shock before you know what's happening.

Tree hugger or cow fucker? (you don't have to answer this one!) optional version... Are you a hippie or a redneck?
let them worry about it,i have my issues that dont really play in that ring. Hippies stink here in  Port land, and they always have a sad lil puppy dog around scrounging change with  them, all the while sitting on their trust fund. All the freaky white trashes all live in Gresham, who knows when their methlabs are gonna blow? ill say im neither at this point,but the future....

Who hooks you up?
i get boards from rdc out of portland, spitfire gives me all kinds of stuff , best wheels. My buddy Joel Price gets me stuff in his boxes from freedumb and other various notions. And i like all the guys at cal skate they are total geeks just like me, reminds me of the old days when i was a kid going into a shop, they're like the older guys that always heckled me.

Say something nice about your girl and your kid!
My sonColin is crazy and that's the way i like him. If you cuss around him, he'll charge you a quater, he got rocker dave seriously owing him some bucks. me too but i'm not like Dave, king cuss a lot. My girl Cora has to put up with a lot from me, i'm always hurt, i go to the hospital maybe 8 to 15 times a year no joke, and i dont think i've met anyone who really believed in me like that and she just rules, she just deals with it and when i say deals with it i'm talking about everything, hole in my hip, spinal tap, good days bad days ......great girl.



 spinal tap............
 Lets say that skater X is having some serious migranes and is vomiting profusly. The pain is almost funny as X then procedes to yell and scream obcenitties at any living soul or noisy inanimate object."shut you godamn noise up " he whines in sharpened tongues.   X, now very much consumed by the throbbing stabs running through his eyes,decides maybe to call his doctor. The doctor has a clue of what might be in store for X, but holds to be reserved so that X will come in to figure it out.
  All the usual diagnostics are tallied and X's temp seems to be soaring well over the normal 98.6. At this point X is feeling more lousy because of all the people around are poking and proding and worst of all talking. It is then diagnosed as some strain of meningitis (either spinal; uncurable or viral, a passing infection of the fluid in the spine.).but how do we really know for sure?
SPINAL TAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    As soon as all the usual medications (i.v demerol drip lines,anti nausea injections,and saline for the veins) are applied it is time for X to recieve one of the most painful procedures in medicine today. X is instructed to lie very still in the fetal posistion,with his head tucked into his chest. X finds this hard because the viral menengitis is locking up his neck and backbone. You would think after hearing you are getting a spinal tap, that this would be no problem.Think again.
      Alrighty,on with the game, fetal position is now achieved by X, whom is not proud of this trying feat. The E.R. technicians will now procede to break out with a very thin but very long needle with a little resevoir at the base for ample fluid collection. X sees the doctor holding this "tap" and knows the party is almost over. Trying his hardest, X holds the child like position and lets out a whince. Soon the needle will prod his very existence. With a sharp,dull jab to the center of X’s lumbar vertabrae,the true meaning of pain comes to light. The happy needle is then instructed to dance around in the spinal cord of X until it makes a clearish green fluid erupt from its resevoir. Only a little fluid is needed to ship to the lab for tasteing? testing. The long prod is then slowly removed as to not damage the spinal cord,result would be paralysis if anything ere to go wrong. X then procedes to hit the demerol and  hurl himself into outer space.
 Again,the spinal tap is only a means of diagnosis.it does not cure the menengitis so there is nothing to do for the pain except wait it out with continuous narcotic sedation.
             After a couple of days X shows some signs of the infection slowly leaving the nerve system, but still to this day gets a headache every time he bends over. Go figure.4000.00 dollars is such a small price to pay iif you compare the wonderful  feeling of the spinal "tap".0
"Hey, anybody need a refill, the kegs almost empty,"cheers.............mikez