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| The Year In Review |
| Roy Starin |
"Never, ever take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time" - Dave Barry
Happy new year, ladies and gents, and welcome to my first editorial of 2007. Yeah, I took December off, so what? I am totally bucking for a promotion at the old jobby job, and I really had to focus all my efforts into maximizing sales during the holiday season. Simultaneously kissing the customer's and boss' collective asses tends to sap whatever strength I didn't save for skateboarding. What I would give to be able to bring you all along for a typical day at a big box retail establishment. There's a movie in it somewhere, I am just too lazy/busy/pissed off at humanity to commit most of what I witness to paper. Or maybe it's already been done, I mean Office Space pretty much applies to every job. It really does though, right? You know what, if you are one of those lucky few motherscratchers that has the "perfect job", just fucking keep it to yourself, alright? Be smug in the fact that you have something that most of humanity doesn't, and then piss off. Or hire me.
So, '06 turned out to be a pretty decent year, music wise. Some established artists dropped some cool stuff, and there are just enough new acts to keep my faith in the future of music alive. And since I know that there might actually be someone out there that hasn't faithfully checked out Ear Pollution every single month, I feel compelled to follow the herd of music press and write up some sort of Year In Review 2006. I wonder if I can even be considered "music press". I also wonder why my finger smells like dirty cheese. I suppose I have place the latter query on hold, because it's time to talk about music, dammit. So here it is, your Ear Pollution 2006 Year In Review. Feel free to supply your own trumpet fanfare, or just blow on whatever you got handy. Not that, you pervert.
As you all have no doubt figured out by now, I don't really get the chance to write about all the good stuff that comes out. The reason is actually simple and kind of depressing: I just don't have the money to buy all the new albums, and I don't have the hook ups for the major label promo CDs. What this all boils down to is that I end up sleeping on some music that I really should be putting on the old pedestal. So let's start off with my first category, Albums That I Should Have Reviewed Already.
1) The Cold War Kids-Robbers and Cowards
This album is so good that I will probably end up writing a review about it anyway, even though it's been out for a while. I usually stay away from hyperbole like "The best new band ever" and other gush that has been thrown around by everyone and their mom because I don't believe the hype. However, I cannot leave this record alone right now. It's some sort of blues stomp-old soul-indie rock from Fullerton, CA that is fronted by Jeff Buckley's evil twin. If you are fan of music you should probably get your hands on Robbers and Cowards yesterday. It's awesome.
2) The Decemberists-The Crane Wife
This is the band I wish I could hate, but their music is just too good. The lead singer sounds like he has some sort of weird speech impediment, and their sound takes me back to a time before things like electricity and showering daily were commonplace deals, know what I mean? And I absolutely hated The Decemberists the first few times I heard them. Luckily the wifey is a big fan, and she wouldn't let their first CD out of heavy rotation in her car. After a couple of road trips they grew on me, not unlike a fungus of some sort. I may not be ready to buy a t-shirt or anything, but I can't not recommend this band.
3) Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins-Rabbit Fur Coat
Jenny Lewis made the best tears in yer beers country album last year, hands down. I mean real country, not this "I got a bar-b-que stain on my white t-shirt" shit that passes for country nowadays. Listening to Jenny Lewis bare her soul, be it with Rilo Kiley or the Watson Twins is something I wish everyone to experience. Real emotion is the antithesis of pop, and it's exactly what I look for in an artist. Don't be afraid to let some of them emotions out, tough guy. You can lock yourself in your room if you don't want anyone to see you.
That's it? 3 albums? I suppose that's all that stands out to me right now, and I think I pretty much talked about everything else that I liked this year. Oh, I got one album that gets it's own category, Best Reissue/Collection.
1) Otis Redding-The Definitive Soul Collection
No one, and I mean no fucking one, can sing a love song like Otis Redding. I must have heard "These Arms Of Mine" about fifty thousand times by now, and I still get goosebumps. This collection is a two disc set of pretty much everything that mattered from Otis, a man who managed to leave a permanent mark even though his life was cut short in a 1967 plane crash. One of the best purchases that I made last year.
I just realized that there isn't a single album above that has anything to do with punk rock or metal. I must be getting old. Let's see if I can redeem myself here with the next category, Best Typical Concrete Disciples Demographic Albums
1) Mastodon-Blood Mountain
Really, how could this not be the first album that I talk about? Blood Mountain is everything that metal should be; dark, heavy, and fast with lots of cool riffs. I don't know if it's possible to still be in the dark about these guys, so I am gonna leave it at that.
2) Stitches- 8 x 12"
I know this is a collection of old stuff, but it was released this year so I'm throwing it in here. I don't know what else to say about this one, go back and read my review or something.
3) That new Slayer album
Most of the dudes on the bulletin boards got all moist about this one, so I will throw it in here as well. For my money, Slayer can never ever beat Reign In Blood, so they should just retire or start a new band or something. Seriously, it's like being the captain of the football team or prom queen or something, you know you peaked early, so where do you go from there? Maybe they should pull an Anton LaVey and play carnival music, how rad would that be?
Yeah,so that just about wraps up 2006. Let's see, what else happened? James Brown died, Desmond Dekker died, Syd Barrett died, and Keith Richards is still alive somehow. The Red Hot Chili Peppers put out another album that sounds just like their last 12, Britney broke up with K-Fed and showed us her pussy, which was kind of a let down, honestly. Tower Records went bankrupt (again), but this time they went bye bye for good. Emo still sucks, but I think it's dying out, so that's good. CBGBs finally closed for good, and I think that there may still be one Ramone alive somewhere. Iraq? Still there. Iran? Not yet.
Here's to a fun 2007, and here's to hoping that Axl Rose finally releases Chinese Democracy so I have something to make fun of.
send me stuff!
rstarin74@yahoo.com
Roy Starin
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Wednesday 10th 2007f January 2007 11:30
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