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| So Happy Amazing Fun Time Ride Device |
| BLKPRJKT |
We'll get to these fine ass ladies in just a moment...
Anybody who has been to ASR will attest to the fact that a lot of cockeyed ideas can and will make a brief appearance in the light of day before becoming eternal residents of the cosmic dustbin. Ultra-specialized items designed for once in a lifetime conditions, useless gadgetry, supposed performance enhancers that simply beg the question: WHY? Fortunately enough, most of these items have a very short shelf life and are easily forgotten as they rightly should be. Having poured every last penny into R&D and small-time production, the "inventors" of these products are usually left licking their wounds, while dodging the calls of their creditors, and faced with the prospect of having to change their names and possibly their faces if they ever want to enter "the scene" again under any circumstance. With a marketing budget of nil, they had no way to infest your inbox with high tech guerilla and viral marketing ploys. They might pony up the cash for a one time only, 1/4 page ad in a magazine, usually one that refuses to run the ads of companies making a real shoe for real skateboarding while embracing these entrepreneurial crackpots and their ill-conceived products. "If you're bombing a 13 degree hill, facing southeast, at 6:12 P.M., with a 4 knot tailwind in the western hemisphere, boy, do we have a truck for you!!!" The funny thing is, such specialized products would never enhance the skateboarding performance of the knuckleheads who would buy such claims and gamble a sizable pile of cash on them, hoping to find that higher stoke. They simply don't have enough south of their belts to begin with.
With an introduction like this, how can you not spend your money on such a product?
Fortunately such neck-wringing games of mental horseshoes have always been relegated to the gear kook pages of the aforementioned brand of publication. Well, that is, until very recently. We received a special piece of correspondence from the Orient that definitely commanded our attention. Unfortunately for the sender of this item, probably not the sort of attention they might have wished for when they hit the send button on the following electronic communique.
---Unique Product - Motorized Skateboard!!!
Dear Sir/Madam,
It is my pleasure to introduce the newest and hottest product to you, hope you like it.
It is the only thing, which can attract most young people. Therefore, it has a remarkable market in the future. You are more than welcome to visit our factory.
Any unclear just send me back the mail, will answer you as soon as possible.
Best regards
Beatrice Q--
Tel: 86-20-8854 ---- Fax: 86-20-8658 ----
Mobile: 86-020-1311221----
MSN: beatrice_q--@hotmail.com
SKYPE: beayong----
Super detail quality information for make you have good times and health.
---
We really appreciate the invitation to visit a Chinese factory, after all why wouldn't we want to visit a place where they make lead lollipops and sulphur dioxide pixie stix? And it's especially exciting that they make something we all really need and want... a motorized skateboard. I really can't imagine how I have lived this long without such a device. I guess, like many other people, I was fooled into thinking the beauty of skateboarding was that you could go as fast as you would ever want to go under your own power if you had the balls or the stupidity to do so. Leave it to the Chinese to re-define skateboarding, after all, they have been doing that since the late 1990's, and if it weren't for American action sports industry giants introducing the Chinese to skateboard manufacturing, we might never have been enlightened.
It must be rough in China, especially with all of the restricted internet access, but at least you can feel the stoke without concretedisciples.com. Ripping steeze!
If you're looking for some sort of reasoning as to why I would waste my precious time addressing such things, perhaps it's simply a re-affirmation of my strong belief that 26 suckers are born every minute, and most of them can't wait to burn whatever money they might be holding. After all, imagine the joy of owning a segway, an underarm hair blow dryer, a left nut polisher, or a motorized skateboard. Perhaps we are the suckers, hoodwinked into believing in the false form and function of skateboarding; skateboarding itself. I urge you all to embrace the reality of skateboarding. It's about money, fame, television coverage, and gadgets... lots of gadgets. Feel the stoke!
-BLKPRJKT / PHOTOS MRZ |
Wednesday 12th 2008f March 2008 10:19
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